Issue 39: Get Unapologetically Loud with Dr. Grace Lee
A veteran educator and social activist takes us to school by keepin' it real.
HELLO KP!
I can’t help but want to type in ALL CAPS after chatting with Grace, the feature of our Q&A this week! When Grace walks into a room, she immediately takes up space and shifts the energy with her charisma and confidence. What a worthy impact for a long-time former public school principal and current school board director for the Webster Groves School District (St. Louis, MO). Full disclosure — I have known Grace since before I was born and when we were kids, we ALWAYS played school and she was ALWAYS the boss and the teacher. I never thought to reverse roles because it was such a fit! It’s amazing to watch how Grace manifested her dreams and talents into a powerful and meaningful decades-long career in education. Time to get ENERGIZED and INSPIRED!
Flavor of the Week: KP Q&A with Dr. Grace Lee
Dr. Grace Lee is a retired public school educator and administrator who currently serves as the Dean of Faculty at Mary Institute St. Louis Country Day School (MICDS), an independent school in St. Louis, Missouri. She is also the director of the Equity and Justice Academy in Character Education (EJACE) for Character Plus. In addition to these two roles, Grace is serving her first term as an elected school board director for the Webster Groves School District. She also serves as a board member for Lifewise STL, Innovation Technology Education Fund (ITEF), Conflict Resolution Center-ST and Advisory Board Member for the Very Asian Foundation.
In every aspect of leadership, Grace brings her social work lens to her role as an educator and community volunteer. She works to create systems to ensure equity and access. The core of her beliefs centers on ensuring that we truly engage with each other as active, equal partners in upholding a community that fosters a sense of belonging, purpose and recognition of self-worth. She is humbled to continue to serve others in these various roles and ultimately hopes that everyone understands their worth and encourages people to walk unapologetically in their purpose. Follow Grace on IG @drgracelee1008.
Introduce yourself more personally in 2-3 sentences.
I’m an impulsive advocate who sometimes just can’t stop myself from getting involved. I have a hard time looking away or ignoring things that are just plain wrong and so can’t help myself and the words are already leaking out of my mouth before my brain has had a chance to tell myself to slow down. This is my superpower but also my kryptonite. I’m learning to slow down, not necessarily stay quiet but sit and observe at least 10 more seconds before disrupting what needs to be disrupted.
Where are you from?
I live in a suburb of St. Louis, Missouri.
No, where are you REALLY from? Haha!
I was born in Korea and immigrated (to the U.S.) when I was six months old. The pathway to immigration was made possible for my family through the military — so the early years were spent on an army base in Alabama before my parents settled in Houston, Texas. I had a lovely childhood full of Mega Church indoctrination, little diversity and a narrow view of what the world really looked like in regards to my future. With the economic crash of the 90’s, my family relocated to St. Louis and oddly enough, moving to the midwest widened my perspective of the world. I thought I would launch from here and end up in a bigger city one day but the realities of adulting has allowed me to grow roots here and remain in the midwest. While I was the only in many settings, as an adult, I’m finding connections across my city with other Asians. I hope my kid and other Asian kids feel a better sense of inclusion than I did growing up.
What’s your sign?
Aquarius.
How would you describe yourself in five words?
Aggressive, Curious, Emphatic, Loyal, Unapologetic.
What do you love about being Komerican?
It’s been a long journey to love being Komerican so simply just accepting myself would be what I love about being Komerican. That I am more than worthy.
And of course, what are your favorite Korean foods?
Kimchi-jjigae, Spicy Raw Marinated Crab, Kimchi Pork Pancakes, Kimbop w/Spicy Pork, really all the foods!
What was your childhood like and what has it taught you?
My childhood was spent in the shadows of watching immigrant parents navigate a country that wasn’t necessarily kind to them. My childhood taught me how to navigate this world that wasn’t always necessarily kind (survival skills!) and learn the lesson of how important it is to build relationships. I also watched my parents model what it means to hustle and do what was necessary to provide for basic needs. My childhood, like many folks, especially first-gen kids, wasn’t the idealistic white picket fence dream but in its imperfection it taught me how to see the realities of the world, accept them and find my voice in it.
Can you share something exciting that you’re working on now?
Right now I’m in an interesting space where I’m trying to figure out what’s next. I’m in a very transitional phase of life, as a “retiree,” — figuring out how to carve out time and space to do the things that bring me joy but also still find meaning in my life while also navigating the world as an older (mature) parent. I have a laundry list of things I’m excited to explore from learning new things to exploring new work endeavors just to try things out for the hell of it.
What do people underestimate about you?
Initially, I think people underestimate me because I’m an Asian woman and with it all the stereotypes that sometimes come with it. There is a young Asian woman I work with and she shared with me a few months back that another woman we all worked with in a previous school district told her that I had become “nicer.” I laughed. In some ways, that is how we look at Asian women —Nice. Demure. Obedient. And that is often how the world is the most comfortable boxing Asian women in and underestimating them. I guess I’m most underestimated because I’m not “nice.” I love cuss words. I’m direct with feedback. I’m loud. I’m a bitch. And I still don’t like that woman that told the young Asian woman I had become “nicer.”
Share your proudest moment in the past year.
Not killing my husband as I navigate perimenopause.
What was your hardest moment in the past year?
I lost a very close sister friend suddenly a year ago. I’m still walking around untethered and missing her deeply. It was a loss I never imagined would or could happen and so suddenly.
We’ve all been hurt in some form or fashion. What are you healing from?
I’m healing from the disappointment of humanity. I believe so deeply in justice and equity and humanity and it is a constant disappointment to interact with other humans most days. What I am learning is that I can live in the work of justice and equity and do what I can and also live in joy. This has been the biggest lesson — that the work of equity and justice can live simultaneously with joy for oneself.
How do you love yourself?
I eat the cake, buy the purse, spend the time with those I love and take the trips-with my girlfriends or family. I learned last year with the sudden death of my very close sister friend that life is truly unpredictable. We don’t know how our life stories are going to play out, so it is important to live fully into each moment. After her death, I’ve become very intentional about savoring each moment I am able to have.
How do you love others?
Baking, cooking and canning are my love languages. If you get cookies, food or a can of jelly or salsa from me — then you know I love you.
What five things can you not live without?
Netflix, bookstores, massages, pizza and kimchi.
What’s your favorite dance song?
I don’t dance (can’t dance) but I love Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back. Probably because I don’t have any back.
What’s your favorite kind of pie?
Key Lime.
This Q&A was answered online and edited for length and clarity.
H Mart Happiness: What’s your favorite product and why?
“Spicy Raw Marinated Crab because it saves me time from making it and Kimbop for the same reason!” - Grace L.
What’s your favorite H Mart product? Share the love and leave a comment!
Crispy Crust: A Hint of Han - Subversive Poetry that Soothes
Kimchi Refrigerator The refrigerator might smell, FYI. Oh, no problem. WOAH! What IS that? It’s kimchi. It tastes awesome but has a smell. It’s like bleu cheese. The older the better. I know, it can be overpowering. GEEZ! I just wanted a Coke. It‘s like an animal died in there! Yeah, I get it. It’s strong. In Korea, everyone has a second refrigerator. The kimchi fridge. Really? Yeah. Here, most Korean families have another refrigerator in the garage. For all the kimchi, dried anchovies and stuff. Dried Anchovies? Nevermind. I really need to get that second refrigerator.
Love, Sarah
Sweet & Salty: A Tasty Treat Satisfying all the Senses
Check out this new project on Kickstarter by Komerican shaman and publisher Seo Choi! (See her KP Q&A in Issue 32.) I love this Minhwa Workbook, where you can learn all how to create your own Korean folk paintings with paper, glue and paint. What is equally compelling is Minhwa and other art forms were born out of resistance against the stringent social class rules of the Joseon Period by the common people of Korea. And how Minhwa also fed people’s spiritual practices — "The subjects of these paintings are from everyday life - flowers, insects, animals, birds, boulders, trees. What’s more interesting is that there are specific meanings and intentions in these different subjects and people painted them wishing and praying for luck and blessings.” This would make a great gift for 2025 Lunar New Year!